Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Especially to my very own brother Patrick.  To commemorate the big day, be sure to read these priceless Irish toasts. Simple and comical. Enjoy!

I drink to your health when I’m with you,
I drink to your health when I’m alone,
I drink to your health so often,
I’m starting to worry about my own!

But the greatest love, above all loves,
Even greater than that of a mother,
Is the tender, passionate, undying love
Of one beer drunken slob for another.

Here’s to being single…
Drinking doubles…
And seeing triple!

Here’s to women’s kisses,
and to whiskey, amber clear.
Not as sweet as a woman’s kiss,
But a darn sight more sincere!

Here’s to our wives and girlfriends…
May they never meet!

As you ramble through life, whatever be your goal,
Keep your eye upon the doughnut, and not upon the hole.

Best while you have it, use your breath.
There is no drinking after death.

May misfortune follow you the rest of your life,
But never catch up.

May you die in bed at 95 years,
Shot by a jealous wife!

May you have the health of a salmon:
A strong heart and a wet mouth!

May your bank account always be bigger than your troubles.

A toast to your coffin.
May it be made of 100 year-old oak,
And may we plant the tree together, tomorrow.

–JK